Just Di

Tuesday, February 19

How much more do I owe you?

I finally couldn't hold it in any longer. I couldn't keep it locked away.

The flood gates opened and for the last 3 years I've finally come clean.

The longest, hardest secret to have locked in my heart

I used him, he used me. We needed each other to survive.

In the end, I guess I ended up with the knowledge that nothing

lasts forever. Gratitude can turn to a steel cage you lock yourself away in.

When you feel so unempowered. I saved you, you saved me.

I've given up all this time just for more time. More time in misery.

You were right, this was my choice. At the time I thought it was mercy

from heaven. Now I can only see it as my curse, my guilt ridden exsistence.

My guilt for living, for not dying slowly. My guilt for locking it away for so

long, for trying to make something real out of something out of pity and

the need for someones everything. I owed you for what you did for me,

I have my life, but isn't it my life? What else do I owe you or anyone else.

I didn't even want to have to owe anyone the truth.

Posted by GivnN2Temptation at Tuesday, February 19, 2008